Marlow Mixed finish National Plate Final with determined performance

Following 5 excellent wins in their Plate campaign so far, Marlow Mixed continued their adventure this weekend, playing 2 more games on the hallowed turf of Lee Valley.

With their semi-final starting at 9:30am on Saturday against Dereham, Marlow were up bright and early, ready for a professional and focused warm-up some danger hockey, as Graeme’s constant pacing up and down the sideline confounded any attempts to do any kind of shooting drill. Despite the absence of any sort of organised warm up, Marlow were 1 goal up within 3 minutes, as future international flop BA Bilsland scored a nondescript reverse stick that limped over the line, into the very top corner.

It wasn’t long before Friday night kicked in, and with Tom Grey being more focused on communicating with his teammates than actually defending, Marlow’s dream start was ended by a clinical Dereham finish. Just 10 minutes in and it was shaping up to be a real thriller. Following another 10 minutes of Marlow domination combined with wastefulness, Dereham took advantage of their pace on the counter attack and Andy ‘tattoo’ Barton, Josie ‘DOD’ Nash and Shades’ complete dearth of any kind of speed, and put yet another goal past birthday boy Graeme, whose dreams of a nutmeg-free birthday were ruthlessly crushed.

At 2-1 down, Marlow were needing some luck, as chance after chance from forwards Kerry, BA and Jeremy drifted wide of the goal. Surprisingly, luck came in the form of Greedy Greg, whose only impact on the game so far had been some suspect tackling and aimless carrying. In his own words, “I dribbled a bit, then I dribbled some more despite several good passing options, and then I mis-touched it, but somehow it went past the goalie. Complete fluke of a goal I must admit.” Regardless of how it goes in, a goal is a goal, and Marlow were back to level, and poised to push on further.

After winning the ball back immediately from the Dereham push back, Marlow executed a perfect passing move from Josie at left half, to Alex ‘I’ve got a headache’ Laneo, then to Greedy Greg, then most surprisingly he passed it yet again, this time to Kerry, who played it on to Jeremy, whose shot found a foot on the line, and won Marlow the chance to go ahead with a penalty. At times like these the biggest and best players step up, ready to write their names into legend. Therefore it didn’t surprise anyone that Pat ‘Stroopwaffel’ Shtaal said “(I) Doan wan it”. Thankfully hero Selfless Ed stepped up, and proceeded to fire the ball home, ripping through the netting of the top left corner with a truly unsaveable effort. They ought to re-lay the pitch, because a better goal is unlikely ever to be scored on it.

Despite Greedy Greg receiving a green card for yet another vile tackle, Marlow kept their lead heading into the outrageously long 10 minute half time. Chris Kilminster, whose coaching ability far outshines his playing talent, made sure to encourage and motivate the team, as Captain Josie unsurprisingly forgot to.

Marlow made sure that they stuck to tradition, and played the first few minutes of the second half as if they had never played together, with even the Tylers failing to connect with each other. Thankfully, our future internationals stepped up, or at least Maddi ‘glory hunter’ Peacock did, whose skilful dribbles down the right wing complemented the hard tackling of Jema McLane on the left side. Marlow kept growing into the game, with solidity at the back from Anj and Shades, who looked like a completely different and much improved player, creating a foundation for Marlow to attack from.

It was in the 62nd minute that one of Marlow’s many chances was finally scored, as Greedy Greg dribbled down the right wing, and played the ball across to Jeremy, who scored a perfect tap-in, which Sophie ‘I used to be good at scoring goals’ Willis should attempt to replicate in the future.

Minutes later Laneo put in a perfectly mistimed professional foul, sending her to the sin bin for 2 minutes. Not to be outdone, Greedy Greg showed the ugliest side of hockey as he looked to snap the Dereham stick, using his own as an axe, and he received a deserved yellow card. As ever, it was up to Selfless Ed to clean up Greedy Greg’s mess, and he did so, with a stunning 80 yard aerial to Pat ‘Baseline Junkie’ Stall, who scored a fortuitous tomahawk into the open goal from the baseline, securing the victory for Marlow, as well as MOM for himself. Unsurprisingly DOD was Josie.

Going into the final on Sunday, Marlow were looking slightly worse for wear thanks to Graeme’s birthday celebrations the night before. Marlow gave the idea that athletes should make sure to drink a lot before matches another, very different, meaning. Despite all this, the team were well up for the final against Formby, even though they were a much more professional-looking side.

Another sorry start to the game ensued, as Marlow’s back line struggled to thread the ball through Formby’s formidable press. Giving the ball away is what Josie ‘DOD’ Nash does best, and 8 minutes in, Formby had their first goal. Just 2 minutes later, following a penalty corner given away by Pacey Pat’s mistimed tackle, Formby won a penalty thanks to Chris Kilminster’s foot, which was without a single doubt definitely inside the post. You’d be mad to believe it was outside the post. Formby converted, despite Graeme getting a very strong hand to the ball, and the game was looking rather bleak for Marlow, who once again struggled to convert the many chances that they had.

The score remained 2-0 until half time, where Jo Rees’ amazing cold wet towels were ready and waiting for the players. Once again the 10 minute half time was rather ineffective, and just 4 minutes into the second half Formby scored yet again to make the game 3-0. Clearly the motivation of Andy Barton getting a tattoo of the Marlow crest “everywhere” was not enough. This left Marlow with a seemingly impossible task, made especially difficult as Greedy Ella was unable to play thanks to an unfortunate altercation with a fly earlier in the week.

Undeterred by the scoreline, Marlow kept improving throughout the second half, with excellent opportunities created by the experienced Angela and the inexperienced Sophie ‘I don’t run funny’ Willis. Constant pressure was finally rewarded as Marlow won another penalty corner. Tom ‘Draglfick’ Grey surprised himself, and everyone in attendance, by converting, making the score 3-1 with 25 minutes to play.

Despite Marlow’s total dominance, the Formby defence stayed resilient, and blocked everything Marlow could throw at them. Frustration stemming from so many efforts on goal going heartbreakingly wide led to Selfless Ed making an ever-so-slightly over-zealous attempt to win the ball, and he was duly rewarded with a little 5 minute sit-down. The @MarlowHC twitter account labelling it as ‘filthy’ 110% must have been a typo.

Maybe it was genetic that just 3 minutes later, Greedy Greg found himself emulating his more-talented brother by putting in a rather rash challenge. This did not excuse the Formby player who took it into his own hands to take revenge and floored Greedy Greg without any attempt to win the ball. Both were handed green cards for their respective fouls, and Greedy Greg joined Selfless Ed in the sin twin-bin. Helen Cooke made sure to take advantage of this unique opportunity to finally learn the difference between them: Ed is a dirty player, whereas Greg is a rubbish player who just doesn't know how to tackle.

With both twins off the pitch, the rest of the team finally saw some of the ball, and in the 2 minutes with 9 players Marlow played some of their best hockey. Their effort was rewarded in the 62nd minute, as a inch perfect ball from the recently rehabilitated Selfless Ed was deflected by Kerry into the top corner. Take notes please, Sophie Willis.

The reinvigorated Marlow side kept pushing forwards, with BA, who had been largely anonymous throughout the game, stepping up and winning a penalty corner with less than 2 minutes remaining. “It was pure anti-skill, I just got lucky” could both describe his career, how he won the corner, and his weekend.

Continuing a recurring theme of the weekend, Marlow failed to score. Just 30 seconds later, thanks to a Marlow level of sloppy outletting from Formby, Marlow were back again, and an Ella Brown-esque run from Maddi ‘England’ Peacock found a Formby foot inside the circle, and Marlow had a final opportunity to level the game with a penalty corner. Tragically, yet unsurprisingly, Marlow didn't score, and the game ended 3-2 to Formby.

Despite the result there were many positives for the Marlow side to take forwards.

• Graeme wasn’t nutmegged on Sunday.
• Greg hopes to go to university, so next year nobody will be hogging the ball.
• Imagine what this team could do if they weren't feeling the effects of Friday and Saturday nights.
• Ella can walk.

MOM was Shades, who put in another quietly assured performance, whilst DOD was Josie, no reason needed. Thanks to Helen Cooke’s tireless work behind the scenes this team looks set to go far in the future, especially if they practise penalty corners.

By Ed Tyler