Helen Cookes up another victory

Anyone could tell that it was going to be a big game. Following a two hour journey on her "Mono-Bike", captain and drag-flicking connoisseur Josie ‘DOD’ Nash burst into a flood of tears, inconsolable as Joe Chomet was nowhere to be seen. Fortunately she had settled down and collected herself before the start of the game for an inspirational and emotional team talk following the intense and professional warm-up.

The game started at Tom Grey pace, and despite winning several short corner opportunities, Josie and Laneo offered no threat at all from the top of the circle. With all of the corners easily cleared, and St Ives creating several counter attacks, Marlow were fortunate to be blessed with immense defensive quality with the likes of Selfless Ed and a fantastic sweeper-keeper in the form of Graeme Cooke.

With excellent dribbling forwards from Greedy Greg and Greedy Ella, neither of whom had worked out how to pass yet, Marlow were still heaping pressure on St Ives. It was the unbelievable pace from Laneo that made the difference though, and a defence-splitting pass made its way towards Sophie “nothing wrong with a tap-in” Willis, who proceeded to leather it into the bottom corner.

Even with a comfortable 1--0 lead, Marlow kept pushing forwards, and it was Alex Lane to Sophie Willis once again, as a perfectly placed cross bounced off the post, outwitting the keeper and setting Sophie ‘poacher’ Willis up for her second of the day.

With Marlow dominating, Greedy Greg found his flow, and minutes after tackling Laneo, he finished a flukey ankle-breaking run into the circle with a loopy shot whose unnervingly slow speed clearly confused the St Ives keeper.

Helen’s half time tactical adjustments didn’t have the desired effect, and St Ives bagged a goal almost immediately after the restart, with Pat ‘Doan wann it’ Shtaal getting rinsed in midfield, and Josie ‘top-bins’ Nash left for dead by the St Ives winger, who proceeded to win their first short corner opportunity of the game. Unfortunately Tom Grey was not quite as good on the post as he is at public speaking, and St Ives had their first goal.

Despite this, Marlow headed straight back up the other end, with both Greg and Ella completing their first passes of the match. Andy ‘Hangover’ Barton carried the ball with pace, and it was Greedy Greg who notched up his second with another deceptively slow effort into the lower-middle bins.

The high intensity of the game had clearly left Pat Staal out of breath, which he quickly resolved with a disgusting foul earning him an enforced break. Meanwhile, fatigue had set in for Ed ‘Bambi on ice’ Tyler, whose lofty centre of mass left him off-balance and eventually writhing in pain on the turf.

With two key players out of the game, and the largely anonymous BA filling in at centre mid, St Ives managed to score again, but it was too little and too late, and the final result was 4-2 to the Mighty Reds. Josie’s emotional fragility and dragflicking/aerialling ability won her the DOD, whereas Tom Grey’s formidable tackling and mostly-effective distribution won him MOM.